I started writing this in the Bloomfield Bridge Tavern while eating pierogies and stuffed cabbage. We were drinking Morrocan beer. The little flag that the knight is holding was sticking out of my stuffed cabbage. It was a wonderful night.
CHAPTER 1: Head in the sand
Under the abandoned bridge, that shaded the dried up river, lived an entity. He had no arms, this mud-dwelling frog man... with a tail.
The king sent a knight, one summer night, to eradicate this ungodly creature. What this silver uncrusted warior did not know was that the armless frog man had friends.
There was the tap dancing psychic snake man.
He could boil your brains in one fatal glance.
He would then eat them, while dancing away.
No one can see the tap dancing snake man with the naked eye. For him to appear, you must know an ancient poem and recite it during a quarter moon.
The frog-man's good friend, the water flying soul sucker sent from satin, also had his back.
Then there was...
The sneaker-fresh cricket-shrimp from the 5th dimension of vortex B9. No one knew of his powers because he swore not to use them.
Scientists hypothicated that this land shrimp...
...smacks it's unsuspecting victims with his sweet kicks before splattering them with ooze from the 5th dimension of vortex B9.
Of course frog-man had other friends who were ready to jump the knight.
Armless frog man was sitting under his bridge, trying to itch his forehead with his toe, one day; when his friend the water flying soul sucker, appeared.
"Hey soul-sucka! I got this itch my toe can't reach, you know the whole no arms thing really gets in the way."
Frog man looked at the hovering fish for assistance. The fish tried to appease the itchy frog with little success. His fins were too silky-smooth.
Mean while the knight was slowly trudging through an unknown countryside full of magical beings whom he was unable to see.
He grew cold and tired. The knight fell asleep on an old lumpy tree.
The night was young for the other-worldy creatures of this multi--dimensional land.
Of course,the tree whom the knight fell asleep on was part of the magical kingdom. The tree began to click its branches together in a rhythmical pattern.
The birds began to rock back and forth on the tree's branches and sang.
The song echoed across the land and put a spell on the little knight.
The 1st enchanted being to reach the news was the wooden bridge that shaded the frog-man's mud puddle.
The frog man buried his head in the mud to relieve the itch. His fish friend was hanging out when the bridge began to speak. the news. The broken bridge spoke through the split road, like two lips.
"There is a Silver Knight who is advancing across our land. The tree man from Wali-Land has wooed him to sleep. DANGER! DANGER!"
The Satanic Soul-Sucking fish looked down at his harmless, armless friend and lit a cigarette.
Frog man had his butt wiggling around in the air while his head was still stuck in the mud.
THE BRIDGE CONTUNUED:
"The knight is being monitored by the Dream Watchers of the 9th tier from the 20th dimension. Our sources say that he is dreaming about the Armless Frog Man of the Mud River. We believe the Knight is after him for reasons unknown to us."
The soul-sucking fish sat down on a mud clump and began to roll a joint. "Damn" he said to himself as he watched his froggy friend struggling in the mud. He noticed how helpless the frog was; unable to even pull himself out of the mud. The frog's legs began to twicht violently and Soul Sucka tried to pull him out with his fins but could not grasp the frog's legs. Soul-Sucka gave up after taring a fin and looked into the night sky. "I might as well just suck out his soul, there is not much time left for my frog friend." he thought.
Soul sucka saw the quarter moon shining like a silent savior. He remembered the ancient poem...
"HO-ROE HUDDA HUDDA
HO-ROE HUDDA HUDDA
HO-ROE HUDDA HUDDA
HANG-DE HUN DUN
THERE ARE TUNES IN THE RIVER WA-TERS
POOLS IN THE RIVER WA-TERS
TUNES IN THE RIVER AND THE RIVER CALLS THEM"
Just as the soul sucking fish was about to go into the 3rd stanza, he heard a troop of tap dancers. They were dancing to his song.
He saw the snake head emerge with his many feet and found relief.
- Current Mood: drunk